Agape Love

Recently I and my wife celebrated eight years of married life. Like many, in this time we have had our ups and downs. In this time we have moved home twice, and had three children. People I know often ask me the secret of a happy marriage. Well, after I tell them that I have only been married a minute, and I'm not really qualified to pass out any advice, I then proceed to offer my ten pence worth of advice. For me, the centre of any relationship should be love. Now I know that sounds obvious, even some what clique. But hear me out. How would you describe Love? Is it a feeling' you get in the pit of your stomach, when you see your boyfriend, or your fav movie star? Is it not being able to get that person out of your head, your first thought in the morning, and last thought at night? Well I would agree, to a point. The word love, as used in the English language, is meant to convey, and cover different types of love. The Greek has three meaning covering love. Eros is the romantic, dreamy emotional kind of love, that I mentioned earlier (In London we have a stature of Eros, in Piccadilly) The Greek have a word (which I can't recall now) which describes the love you have for your children and family. But my favorite description of love is the Greek word Agape. Agape love is outward, rather than in ward looking. To my mind this is the love you need to make any relationship work. The Eros love has a shelf life, and is normally based on the physical. As great and beautiful as this is, a relationship can not be built on this (hence you find many marriages/relationships, particularly celebrity, not getting out the blocks)
Agape love seeks what best for your partner, not yourself. It makes you a considerate lover, a good listener, sensitive to their needs, and moods.
The self seeking love that this world seeks to promote, in films, and songs, is nothing but a fleshy duplicate. It wants to please self, get what I need, meet my demands, even if they come before the needs of your partner. A wise man told me, when I had been married only a few months ' I have been married for fifty years. My secret is this. I put my wife needs before my own, and she puts my needs before her own. That way both our needs are met.
Simple isn't it? Well no I'm sorry it isn't. At heart we are all selfish, and this Agape love can take a life time to work out. I still struggle with this (ask my wife) But I have a great mentor. Jesus Christ came to this earth, to do the will of his father, not his own. It’s this agape love that made him lay down his life for me. I pray that, as he changes me to his likeness, this agape love will grow in me, and that my friends, family, and yes my wife & kids will see.

NEWS WORTHY

As I get older in years I recognise many traits and habits of my late father. One of these is my regular routine of gathering news information, via print and T.V. I have always believed that it was important to be aware of the news events happening on a national and international basis. I couldn't understand people who didn't make an effort to be better informed on the major issues of our day. The information I received from my news gathering also helped me to form my political ideals and help me with making decisions in times of local and national elections.

Recently I have noticed a change in the news output in this country. Many have labeled this a dumbing down to the lowest common denominator i.e. celebrity based gossip and trivia. One of the first things to go has been the impartiality of the news production. Recently a BBC correspondent was reprimanded for allowing her personal political viewpoint to affect her reporting of a topical news item (the Israeli Palestinian conflict). Also a recent independent report has found the BBC is not impartial with regard to this same conflict having a pro-Palestinian output.

In the US all pretense of impartiality has been abandoned in some quarters with regard to news output. The Fox News Network now sets the agenda in regard to their news output and freely allows it presenters to express opinions on topical issues of the day.

The other issue that concerns me is who sets the agenda for the news that we read and watch. A current example is the situation regarding a group of Korean Missionaries held hostage by the Taliban in Afghanistan. They were threatened with death unless the authorities met their demands. Two men were executed and more executions were threatened. I watched the nightly news awaiting more information with regards to this but none was forthcoming. I went on to the website seeking more information and none was readily at hand. It was only while searching on this same news website that I found a small section which told me nothing I didn't already know. Even the fact that when they were eventually released came to me via a third party and not on any news organisation. Now if it had been British or American Nationals this would have been a major news item. But Korean Christians two groups that are not considered sexy enough for news (I have issues with the BBC's output with regard to Christians that maybe for another post). Thus my daily news fix has fallen in the last couple of weeks/months. I am not sure where to go for a reliable news source as any news that is presented on screen or in print will always have a human bias attached to it and an agenda to boot.

I would welcome any suggestions as to any news publications that you admire or would recommend.

MENTAL ATTITUDE

He was everything I was not. Built like Mike Tyson as quick as Linford Christie and with football skills to match he made playing the game like all great players look easy. Before him I thought I was a good player after him I KNEW he was great!

He was 4 years older than me but in reality he was 10 years older mentally. He introduced me to the lifestyle of a soul boy with his unique dress sense, his love of soul music (he introduced me to Blues and Soul Magazine), in effect he was the big brother I never had.

What do they have in common? Both are now institutionalised with mental illness. Statistics show that a number of black males that are suffering with mental issues are consistently on the rise. With 5 - 7% of ethnic minorities in the UK and with more black males institutionalised than their white counterparts what can we attribute to the rising levels of mental instability within black males?

I would answer with one word 'cannabis' (or weed, ash, black or any number of street names associated with this drug). Recent scientific study has shown a link between constant cannabis abuse and the variety of mental illnesses. The Government in trying to taggle the rising levels of drug dependancy and use have inadvertently sent out the wrong message with regards to the use of this drug. By de-classifying it from a Class A to a Class B drug they have decriminalised any one found with cannabis in their possession and thus to my mind encouraging it's use.

Back in the mid-90's hip hop was inundated with songs glorifying the use of smoking "blunts" by artists like Redman and Method Man. They even made a film called "How High" which glorified this habit. Recently I saw an interview with Redman where the brother could barely keep the flow of a conversation together, now I would admit there are other circumstances like the pressure of life, racism and day to day pressures that could also be responsible but I believe the increased use of cannabis within the black community needs to be addressed primarily by the Government and the black community itself.

U, Black Maybe!

The latest instalment of Big Brother here in the UK had a first. For the first time in its history here in the UK a person of colour, a young black man actually one the prize of 100,000 pounds. Many had questioned whether this would ever happen (blaming a kind of latent/subtle racism). You would have thought that the black community would embrace such a thing. Alas no. Many a talk show on black radio questioned the 'blackness' of this young man. Apparently Brian had been adopted by a white family from a young age. He also demonstrated attributes that were not common to a black male (from his cockney speaking voice and the pub culture he so loved). This led me to the question what defines 'blackness' (if anything).

When I was young blackness was defined by your musical taste (pop and rock were too white, jazz funk, soul and R&B were okay, the company you kept even the way you walked was also were ways that your blackness was defined. Being a studious pupil was also a crime worthy of judgemental punishment.

Since those days my perspective has changed somewhat blackness to me isn't defined by your musical taste, your choice of clothes, your friends or the way you walk. Blackness is defined by your mindset, thoughts and actions.

Instead of throwing darts at the winner of a reality show why isn't the blackness of drug dealers, pimps any artist that glorifies in negativity (50 cents stand up). Being black in skin tone isn't enough (listen to Night Train by Public Enemy).

In conclusion I would say that defining blackness isn't a straightforward thing and is more a state of mind rather than a code of effects.

Freedom

In the West we are quick to comment on how much freedom we have, as opposed to other countries or cultures around the globe, but how true is this? Let's take a closer look. Freedom to Demonstrate? Well, within reason. Depending on your point of view. The British National Party cannot hold a demonstration against immigration, or the influx of immigrants, because that would violate the new inciting racial hated law(s), as would any body or group demonstrating against homosexuality or a particular religious persuasion ( particularly Islam, or so it seems to me). Also, due to the current war on/with Iraq demonstrations which are not police approved ( i.e. spontaneous) are not permitted within a square mile(I think it's a square mile) of parliament or Downing Street.
Freedom to vote, well, yes, but even this is under threat. There's has been talk in the UK press, that like other countries, the right to vote will be made mandatory for all those of voting age. This is due to the fact that voting figures are declining year upon year, particularly among the young.
Freedom to bring up your children? Again within reason. The Government is under pressure from certain pressure groups, to make it an offense to smack your children, as a form of punishment.
Freedom of movement? Guess what, within reason. The United Kingdom has more closed circuit television (CCTV) than any in the west ( if not the world)( the argument being that these cameras help in the fight on crime, which is not borne out by the facts, as people committing crime raises year on year)
Lastly freedom to own your own home? Well, I'm not sure we do. Our mortgages are normally the biggest out lay from our wages, on average lasting 25 years( which will see an increase as first time buyers struggle to get on the property ladder, Once this is paid off, it would normally be about time to retire (until the government raises the retirement age too 70) where by, God willing you'll have a few years to enjoy 'ownership' of your home, before you die.

In my opinion we are more slave than free, whilst other countries do not pretend that this state of freedom exists.

What has happened to Black Music? Am I the only one that thinks that it's not in a healthy state at the moment? Oh, so you want evidence? Well, I'll give you my first reference point as evidence: The Major labels. They stand accused of not harboring/developing artist signed to their label. There was a time, way back, when, once an artist was signed, they were given time to develop. So no pressure was made to bear on their first CD release, they were given time to develop a live stage act, and limited freedom (which would increase, once sales, or a critical response was forth coming) Look at Ray Charles, for example. Watching his film 'RAY (or reading his biography) you notice, that his early releases did not do too well, but he was given time to find his identity. Not now, Don-e, Omar, Silent Eclipse, London Posse, Demon Boyz, Derek B & Donnie, to name just a few artists that have felt the sting of major label rejection.
Secondly, please stand up: Radio. Playing the same 20 songs, on the hour, every hour for weeks on end. New artists NEED exposure, and we the public have to hear their product to be able to purchase it. The Major labels have a part to play in this, as they will pay stations to put their artist on to the coveted play lists.
Lastly, I & you are to blame. We're lazy. If we took the time to search out the underground scene, we would find vibrant fresh talent, across all musical boundaries, waiting for an audience. Thank good ness for the Internet, which has the Majors running scare, and for downloads, which has given power to the consumer.
What is required are Berry Gordon's of the 00's, who will run, and promote new talent, and not sell out for the quick buck.

Celebrity

There was a time when you could have called me star struck. When I would have gone to some effort to get an autograph, some such thing (normally associated with a sporting Star, say football) or have a chat. Nowadays I don't hold much truck for it, for a couple of reasons. The World now seems obsessed with celebrity, to the extent that each week, a new publication hits the news stand, promising new revealing pictures of the latest hot couple, or chances to win a make over to look like them. Now I know that this isn't a new trend. You can trace the roots of this disease right back to 1940's, 1950's, Hollywood film stars, and like most things seems to have gotten steadily worse. At least back then you had to have done something (or have been good at some activity) nowadays you can be successful just by looking like someone famous (stand up Chantelle) Do you know who I blame for this mess. YOU! & me. If we were more concerned with our own well being, and were happy and content with our own lives, maybe we wouldn't be so concerned with Big Brother, Celebrity Love Island, Hello & OK magazine. It's even got to the point where the TV news is dictated by these issues (i.e. making a song & dance about the winner of 'The Apprentice'!)It saddens me when I see & hear people getting wrapped up in BB, when, to my eyes, it's just a collection of show offs, Bullies, and wannabees.
Now some may argue that it’s harmless fun, a bit of entertainment, to while away the time. Maybe. To me, it’s the lowest common denominator, that, given it’s full range, will lead to a desensitised nation