Friendship

Recently I have been reflecting on the nature of friendship. How would I define it, and has this definition changed over the course of my life? Well, as a child, any one who knew my name, would be someone that I would consider a friend. Then, when was in junior school, a friend was a person that not only knew my name, but someone I would hang with, and play football with, go around their house etc. In secondary school the script was flipped. We were all coming of age, so to speak, and the boundaries and definitions changed again. Friends you may have known, from childhood, were now people who hung out with a different crowd. People were 'peer-pressured' into certain groups, whilst acknowledging, a friend hanging around with people from a so-called 'inferior' group would do major damage to your rep. From the get-go, my friends were defined by football. Some came way of the park, where I would go up to complete strangers and ask for a game. Speaking to people who knew me at that time, i wasn't one who conversed about much else but football, and being shy didn't help. But the love of a kick around was enough for me to pluck up the courage. Secondary school was around the time that I noticed that my definition of friendship changed, and in turn the number of people i could count as a friend decreased. As i refused to be something that I wasn't, I was a floating person, belonging to no group, keeping my head down, and toward the end of my school days, having fallen out with the one guy i used to hang with, spending more time on my own. This was the time when i would pursue certain people to be friends with. Now this wouldn't be based on any shared interests or anything. In truth I don't think it was based on anything but a desire to have a friend. But i soon learnt that friendship wasn't like that. They can't be forced. They just happen. Since these times I have also noticed two things. The first is that the older I get, the less new friends I make. And the second is that I have no real non-black friends. Now how would I define a friend? A friend too me is someone who I can be 'me' with. Someone who I can share the deepest most intimate thoughts from my mind, whilst holding no fear that these will be thrown back in my face. Some one that is not afraid to disagree with me when I'm wrong, who comes to mind when I have great news to share, and is there in times of trouble. Am I a good friend? I couldn't tell you. No doubt I have angered, disappointed, and let down my friends, as they have to me. But they are still my friends, for better or worse. Stand up my Wife, Roddy Rock, and Mikee Fresh. Thanks for your friendship. I hope my friendship is what you have expected