Agape Love

Recently I and my wife celebrated eight years of married life. Like many, in this time we have had our ups and downs. In this time we have moved home twice, and had three children. People I know often ask me the secret of a happy marriage. Well, after I tell them that I have only been married a minute, and I'm not really qualified to pass out any advice, I then proceed to offer my ten pence worth of advice. For me, the centre of any relationship should be love. Now I know that sounds obvious, even some what clique. But hear me out. How would you describe Love? Is it a feeling' you get in the pit of your stomach, when you see your boyfriend, or your fav movie star? Is it not being able to get that person out of your head, your first thought in the morning, and last thought at night? Well I would agree, to a point. The word love, as used in the English language, is meant to convey, and cover different types of love. The Greek has three meaning covering love. Eros is the romantic, dreamy emotional kind of love, that I mentioned earlier (In London we have a stature of Eros, in Piccadilly) The Greek have a word (which I can't recall now) which describes the love you have for your children and family. But my favorite description of love is the Greek word Agape. Agape love is outward, rather than in ward looking. To my mind this is the love you need to make any relationship work. The Eros love has a shelf life, and is normally based on the physical. As great and beautiful as this is, a relationship can not be built on this (hence you find many marriages/relationships, particularly celebrity, not getting out the blocks)
Agape love seeks what best for your partner, not yourself. It makes you a considerate lover, a good listener, sensitive to their needs, and moods.
The self seeking love that this world seeks to promote, in films, and songs, is nothing but a fleshy duplicate. It wants to please self, get what I need, meet my demands, even if they come before the needs of your partner. A wise man told me, when I had been married only a few months ' I have been married for fifty years. My secret is this. I put my wife needs before my own, and she puts my needs before her own. That way both our needs are met.
Simple isn't it? Well no I'm sorry it isn't. At heart we are all selfish, and this Agape love can take a life time to work out. I still struggle with this (ask my wife) But I have a great mentor. Jesus Christ came to this earth, to do the will of his father, not his own. It’s this agape love that made him lay down his life for me. I pray that, as he changes me to his likeness, this agape love will grow in me, and that my friends, family, and yes my wife & kids will see.